5 Reasons Life Coaching Helped Me Thrive in Addiction Recovery

“You will never find success until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine” — John Maxwell

Recovery from an addiction gives you more choices, and most importantly, freedom. You have the freedom to choose how you will use your most valuable asset: time. What if you had someone who could help you navigate the difficulties, fears, and doubts during the most important time of your life?

Have you always wanted to do something you loved, but something kept holding you back? Maybe you felt that you were not good enough or that it would be impossible due to lack of finances. I’ve been there. My addiction to drugs and alcohol lasted from my late teens and into my early twenties. I have been in long-term recovery for the past 12 years and I still can experience these feelings.

People who suffer from addiction often have a lot of shame and guilt. As soon as we make some progress, we are bombarded by limited beliefs that keep us stuck and experiencing low self-esteem.

Dr. Gabor Mate, author of the #1 Canadian best seller “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts” defines addiction as

“any behavior that a person finds pleasure or relief in and craves but suffers negative consequences and can’t give up.”

This can include food, technology, alcohol, drugs, pornography, gambling, dependent relationships, and more.

But here’s the thing, people in addiction recovery are resilient and courageous. We have to be. Many of us have literally gone through hell and back. So, the challenges we will face in the future may be difficult, but not as difficult as what we’ve already been through.

People living with addiction are oftentimes the most hardworking, gifted people on the planet.

Maybe your desire is to land a new job, support your family, or to be a good parent. Maybe you have excelled and now have greater visions for your life, i.e. to be a motivational speaker, start a business, travel to Bali, buy you first home, or be the best version of yourself and give back to others.

We all have something inside of us that needs to be brought to life.

When it came time for me get serious about what I really wanted in life and for someone to hold me accountable, I sought out a life coach. I remembered reading about a fitness guy who hired a life coach to help him succeed and I figured I would give it a shot. I fired up Google and began the search. I eventually came across a life coaching site I thought was legit and went for it. I had no idea what I was in for.

Besides working with a sponsor, working with a life coach turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. Like a mentor or sponsor who helps you stay accountable to your recovery, a life coach becomes a cheerleader who keeps you accountable to your goals, vision, and mission. Working with a life coach helped me to achieve bigger goals and land bigger opportunties, like winning the highest award possible at my company at the time. I had to do the work, but my coach was there to support me through the entire process. And most importantly, I felt like I had control over my life for the first time.

“Recovery is a process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.” — Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)

What I realized in working with a life coach over the past few years, is that we have a tremendous amount of untapped potential. It’s just waiting to be brought out of us. But just how are we going to tap into it and reach our full potential?

A life coach can help with the process of becoming your best self.

Here are five reasons a life coach can help you navigate your way to reaching your full potential and to what matters most.

1. You Get to Call the Shots

When you’re working with a life coach, you get to choose what you want to work on. If you decide to focus on getting promoted at work, achieving greater health, or improving your personal relationships, your life coach will work with you to make this reality. I loved the idea of being able to choose what I wanted to work on.

The power to change is already inside each and every one of us. We have all have inherent resilience and inner strengths to achieve our life’s purpose. A life coach’s job is to help bring this out of you. A life coach can help you discover what it is you really love to do. And living a life on purpose is important to maintaining long-term recovery.

2. You Gain Immediate Clarity on Your Actions and Goals

A life coach will help you co-create a vision for your life and help you focus on the bigger picture. A life coach will enable you to define the next steps in your journey and develop a plan that will keep future conversations on track. When you’re working towards your own goals, your confidence and self-esteem will increase.

A life coach can help someone who feels lost, stuck and lacking direction in addiction recovery. They will walk beside you and help you to navigate the best solutions for your particular situation. The fact is that the most successful people on the planet have life coaches: athletes, entrepreneurs, entertainers, professionals, presidents and so on. Why not people in addiction recovery?

3. You Have an Accountability Partner for What Matters Most

Knowing you have a connection to someone who cares about your well-being, hopes, and dreams is both encouraging and life-altering. A life coach will keep you accountable to the most important areas of your life. This can include your recovery, health, personal and professional success, relationships, finances, spirituality and hobbies.

A life coach will meet you wherever you are in life. A good life coach will challenge you to review your limited beliefs, habits, mindset, life goals, dreams, vision, and purpose. I’ve worked with a life coach to help me land a large promotion at work, start a business, stay disciplined to a nutrition program, uncover my strengths and my life purpose, make more money, and write a book.

4. You Develop Greater Self-Awareness

“As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you the first time around.” –Oprah Winfrey

Self-awareness leads to self-mastery and the ability to gain clarity with where you are in your life and recovery. A life coach will expose you to many tools to learn about your strengths and values. They will help you notice blind-spots and navigate obstacles that on your own would be difficult if not impossible to see. A life coach will share, when it is appropriate, their own experiences and insights on a specific situation. A coach is an objective guide who will help you become aware of how you spend your time.

My life coach helped me to conceptualize what it would look like if I was to leave my job. She asked me questions and worked with me to uncover the pitfalls and roadblocks that could get in the way of my success. I would have missed the opportunity to overcome one of my biggest fears and live out my life’s purpose had I not worked with a life coach.

You don’t have to leave your job or start your own business to be fulfilled. You can simply explore a new career, opportunity, or seek a promotion that aligns with your highest strengths and do work you’re most passionate about.

5. A Life Coach Becomes a Champion for Your Hopes and Dreams

No matter what is happening in your world, a life coach will be there to remind you that you are resourceful and capable of greatness. Choose a life coach that has walked the walk and has been down the path you are seeking to go. One of my favorite reasons for working with a life coach is I have someone cheering for me. I think we all need someone in our corner who will help us celebrate our small and large successes.

It’s important to celebrate your daily wins, both big and small. It’s all about making consistent progress. A life coach is there to empower you every step of the way.

It’s time to start doing what you really want to do. If your job is sucking the life and energy out of you, it’s probably time to start looking at other options. A life coach can help during this critical transition.

Many life coaches will offer a free introductory session. You can schedule a call with one to see if they are a good fit.

If you’re looking for a life coach that specifically works with people with addiction, there are several options. A life coach is not a therapist. I would recommend working with a trained professional if you are seeking help with past trauma and mental health concerns.

Ready to Change Lives?

Would you like to learn how to design and lead interactions that will quickly unlock strengths, resilience, and future visions?

Click here to learn more about Entrepreneurs in Recovery® Events and Workshops.

Two Steps to Overcoming Fear

Original Article from FacingAddiction.org

“Feel the fear and do it anyway.” — Dr. Susan Jeffers

Fear has been a dominating factor throughout my life. My first fear was the fear of abandonment. My father was addicted to alcohol and cocaine and left when I was four years old. My coping mechanism for the pain was sucking my thumb. There is nothing wrong with thumbsucking as a toddler, but at eight years old, I still did it every day. My kindergarten teacher wanted to keep me back a year because of my incessant thumbsucking. It was getting out of control. But it brought me ease and comfort, and I would hide it. I was a functioning thumbsucker.

Sucking your thumb as an 8-year-old is hard work. You have to escape being seen by friends and big brothers. My brothers would constantly harass me about it. They told me my thumb was going to fall off. But I couldn’t stop doing it. I didn’t know how else to cope with my emotions. Eventually, the pain of embarrassment caused me to stop.

The same emotional pattern affected me as a young adult when I started using drugs and alcohol a decade or so later.

Drugs and alcohol became a solution to my pain, trauma, and fears. Why did I do some of the things I did? Much of it can be broken down to fear. Not healthy fear, like when you’re faced with life and death decisions. I’m talking about everyday fear that brings about feelings of extreme self-doubt, low self-worth, worry, and anxiety.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” -Jack Canfield

When I was 22 years old, my fear of abandonment was back again. This time, it was because I spent the $200 my brother sent me to get me home from Orlando, Florida. The second time he had sent me money in two weeks. I intended to use this money to escape the addicted hell in which I was living, but I couldn’t stop using cocaine and opioids. I was fortunate to be sent money a third time as I made the 20+ hour drive back to New Hampshire.

About a week or so of being home from Florida, I was arrested for federal felonies due to my addiction to synthetic opiates. Being arrested created many new fears. Fear of the future. Fear of being a criminal. Fear of losing my freedom. Fear of staying sober. Fear of prison. Fear of not being able to get a job.

Then I had a fear of going to 12-Step meetings which I was required to attend. Especially young people’s meetings. Even after being in recovery for a few years, I was terrified to go. It felt like high school all over again, at least in my mind. Fear doesn’t go away because you’re living in recovery. You still have to deal with the fear you were hoping to avoid your whole life. I wore a mask for years at meetings and around people, acting as though I was comfortable in my own skin.

“Remember your dreams and fight for them. You must know what you want from life. There is just one thing that makes your dream become impossible: the fear of failure.”- Paulo Coelho

I even stayed in the same job for eight years because I was afraid of what would happen if I tried to get another job. Who would want to hire a felon? My options seemed extremely limited. I would work during the day and attend college at night. I eventually got my degree and bought my first home in recovery. These were significant milestones since I assumed my felonies would keep me stuck. But now I had to face the reality of paying a mortgage.

Money problems motivated me to face the reality of having felonies. I applied to a Fortune 15 company. I put the details of what had happened in my application where it asked, “Were you ever arrested?”

During phone interviews, I shared everything. I told them about my problem past issue with OxyContin and other substances; I told them my whole recovery story. Probably way too much. But the fact of the matter is that I had been in living in recovery for eight years at this point, doing the next right thing. I had nothing to hide and nothing to lose. And I wanted nothing coming back to bite me if they did hire me.

I got the job. There was a new hope for my life. But now, new fears arose. I had the fear of being found out and the fear of success. But these were fears I could handle, at least for now.

Fear had been there all along. It was debilitating at times. But I discovered that most of the things I feared never happened. Today, when there’s fear, it’s usually an indication that I need to slow down and go inwards. It’s uncomfortable at first, but the fear is gone.

In the past, I would not share my fears, because I was afraid of appearing weak. I never asked for help. I just stuffed fear away and moved on. But the fear never went away. How do I face my fears in recovery? I ask questions. I seek counsel from people and mentors who can help. I meditate and ask for guidance.

2 Steps to Overcoming Fear in Recovery

“He who is not everyday conquering some fears has not learned the secret of life.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

1. Forgive Yourself

“Forgiveness is freedom”

Write down, “I forgive myself for having xxxx fear.” Take 10 minutes sitting quietly in stillness, breathing in peace and breathing out fear. Let go of the shame and quit punishing yourself for having the fear. Ask for help and find a recovery friend you can share your fears with. We all have fears, even people who don’t struggle with addiction. Practice self-compassion and the act of forgiving yourself every day. It’s all part of the journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

I found that nothing in my life is wasted, not the good or the bad.

It all gets used in some way; usually, in a way, that benefits someone else.

2. Take Action

Make a list of your top 3–5 fears. Then get out there and take action to confront your first fear. Be curious and ask questions. You’d be surprised by how many people struggle with the same fears you do. Get someone to keep you accountable like a life coach or a mentor.

And finally, when you face a fear, make sure you celebrate. Anchor in the win by getting a massage, booking a trip, or buying something nice for yourself.

I’ve decided to face all of my fears in recovery.

To live a life without regrets. Who knows? It might just work out. The more I face fear; the more my life seems to expand. I used to ask myself the question, “How many opportunities have I missed out on throughout my life due to fear?”

Now, I ask myself “How will overcoming this fear benefit myself and the people I serve?”

When we change the questions we ask ourselves; we change our lives.

Ready to Change Lives?

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Click here to learn more about Entrepreneurs in Recovery® Events and Workshops.

Faced With Prison, I Jumped Into Action And Got Real About Recovery

It all started with thumbsucking:  my first coping mechanism to deal with emotional pain. At 8 years old, I was sucking my thumb and then hiding it whenever I could. I was a functioning thumb sucker. Eventually the pain of embarrassment from those around me got to be so great I stopped.

My next addiction was thanks to high-speed internet. At 11 years old, I found myself hooked to a computer screen playing online games. During this time, I discovered the world of online pornography. This addiction affected many of my relationships and kept me isolated. My high school years were tough times. The pressure to fit in and feel a part of did not sit well with me. I played sports for about two years but I eventually quit them all.  My social anxiety continued to grow and I would cope by spending most of my time getting lost in a fantasy world on the computer.

When it came time to think about college, I had little motivation. I got accepted to a small college out of state and decided to go.  Up to this point, I barely drank and rarely engaged in drugs. That was about to change. During my first few months of college, I started drinking and getting high on a regular basis.

I hit many jackpots that first semester. I was arrested for open container by a state trooper. I failed all of my classes and I even got caught for plagiarism. I flunked out of school and made my way back to the seacoast with my mom. My addiction to drugs and alcohol was in full effect but it was about to reach another level.

I arrived home from work one night to discover my father had passed away as a direct result of his years of heavy drinking. He had left home when I was 3 years old and never returned. Even though I had no contact with my father, his passing marked a new stage of my addiction. I turned to much harder drugs. I even found a way to order prescription pain meds on the internet. It wasn’t long before I found myself in a very bad spot. Hundreds of pills were being consumed in short periods of time. I had planned to “escape” this addiction by moving to Florida. But about 2 weeks before leaving, I was arrested. To my surprise they let me go and off to Florida I went.

I had planned to turn my life around in Florida. On the drive down, I was already getting high. Once again in a short period of time, I found myself at death’s doorstep.  I pawned my belongings. I gave away my social security number. I hit another bottom.

I made my way back to New Hampshire and within a few days I was arrested once again. Ordering pills to support my habit had eventually caught up to me. I was now facing 7 years in federal prison. It was surreal in many ways. I asked myself what had happened. Addiction had taken its toll.

The fear of spending close to a decade in prison changes a person. Awaiting trial, I jumped head first into action. The judge did not order rehab; my prescription was to work full time, attend drug and alcohol therapy, and attend 12-step meetings. But I started to take even more action. I journaled every day. I read and memorized affirmations to help me battle my mind which I needed because I was experiencing panic attacks on a regular basis.  I kept doing the next right thing every day. Eventually the time came and I did not end up going to federal prison. I did end up with federal felonies.

I was determined not to let my past define my future. I worked hard for my recovery through helping others, 12-step work, and personal growth. A time finally came when I had to face the fear and apply for a new job. I applied to a fortune 15 company. The application said, “Where you ever arrested?” I typed in my charges. On my first phone interview, I told them everything. I had nothing to lose. I was 8 years in recovery; I had purchased my first home and I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in psychology. I told them about my addiction to OxyContin and various substances. I probably told them to much. But I knew I did not want anything coming back to me later on if they somehow were to hire me.

After being asked the same questions about my arrest in a second phone interview and a face to face meeting, I got the job. I literally felt unstoppable.

And indeed, I never did stop. I eventually won the highest award my company had to offer: an all-expenses paid trip to Switzerland for 5 days. I took my best friend Pete along with me whom I had met in recovery. I eventually got my master’s degree in mental health counseling. I spent 100’s of hours reading and engaging in my own personal development. I recently decided to leave my 9-5 job and pursue my own mission. I started Entrepreneurs in Recovery, my mission to help people in recovery reach their full potential through personal development and entrepreneurship. I want to show people the positive side of recovery. You can create the life you want in recovery. And I’m not alone. Many of my closest friends are in recovery and we work together to make our dreams a reality. We can’t do this alone. On December 18, 2017, I celebrated 12 years in recovery.

Article from RyanHampton.org

Learn more at www.JesseHarless.com

Episode 001 Sachin Patel